Prepare to Enter the Next Level
It’s 4:40am as I write this. I slept a few hours.
Everything feels like it’s happening internally for me but I can’t fully “hear” the messages…. yet.
It feels like a white noise or like a thick fog. I don’t feel bad but I also don’t feel on top of the world. I feel a bit of nothingness paired with the sensation of “Holy F, everything is shifting”. Does anyone else feel like this?
Summer 2026 isn’t over but it feels like my old life is. Erica 2.0 and all the versions of her that existed before Tabula Rasa Wellness Collective are dead and gone. Decisions have been made this summer, connections are releasing naturally, desires are shifting, values are speaking, visions for the future are crashing into my Ego like big surf waves. No part of my Shadow Self is safe.
I can’t keep pretending like I am aligned to half the things I was before. Even just writing that gives me an anxious current inside.
Before your next level feels normal, it always feels like you’re being pushed down a hallway that keeps shrinking. I call this the Portal of Change. And when you’re in the Portal, the internal loudspeaker keeps asking the same thing, “How bad do you want it”?
Would the millionare version of you who runs a 7-figure business be complaining or sitting in the resistance of not wanting to be up at 5:00 in the morning working because she got an internal nudge to create? No. She would be grateful for the current of energy that is being channeled through her. Would the version of you in the committed relationship be complaining about having to shift your schedule around to accommodate this new manifestation she received? No, she would likely be overjoyed with the feeling of, “I love my life”. Would the version of you who has time and space to do everything she wants to do be complaining about feeling bored? Nope, she would not, because that space of time where everything is done, the mind is clear and the schedule is free to explore life, is an indication that she has appropriately prioritized all her needs and practiced self-discipline and so the Universe rewards her with the feeling of boredom.
As soon as I finished that last sentence, I heard, “so go be free”.
The fog, the uncomfortableness, the question on how to move, or where to move, or what to move; it all starts to lift as you continue to push into it. There is a difference between pushing into a metaphorical brick wall and pushing into the egoic tunnel of resistance. It is important to be able to feel when to push forward and when to lean back.
This week is a week to push forward (for me anyway).
The theme is, how bad do you truly want it? Push towards the creative nudges, push out of your comfort zone, push into the spaces of your life that need a little clean up and push in to the spaces of your vessel that need a little more love. And repeat after me:
I have time and space to do everything I want to do plus more. I have the energy to complete all the necessary tasks, plus more. I have the creative current running through me that will channel inspiration, inner truth and clarity on the right steps to take each day. I am free to show up as myself everyday without questioning who will approve my new energetic state. I lovingly release all attachments that do not serve my path forward even if there has been no love lost. I own my lessons and use my new knowledge of Self as fuel for life creation. I am a Portal of Evolution through the actions of self-discipline, radical self-respect, and peaceful forgiveness. My heart matters and what I desire is always desiring me even more.
I am prepared to be fully received by my next level.
And so it is.
xx
tabula
